THE Dress: Opinions?

So for the past few weeks, the media has been in a near frenzy about the upcoming nuptials of Prince William and Kate Middleton. Granted I was a fan of Prince William's back in high school when he was a total cutie, but as we've both gotten older (and some of us balder) so sadly the spark is long gone between Will and I.



Kate and her sister, Pippa, the maid of honor before the ceremony.

However, Kate Middleton has always struck me as a rather classy girl. Somehow she's managed to avoid any sort of major scandal during her decade in the public eye and according to reports, she and William are quite in love.

A few folks in my office intended to wake up this morning at 5am to catch the wedding cermony itself. Seeing as how I didn't wake up at 5am for my own wedding day, this seemed rather extreme, but I was pleasantly surprised when I sat down with my bowl of cereal right as the "kiss" from the balcony of Buckingham Palace was about to take place.



Kate and William on the balcony.


Watching the couple come out onto the balcony was interesting. For several minute leading up to their entry, the cameras had focused on the thousands gathered outside the Palace, hoping to catch a glimpse of the newlyweds. The crowd stretched out for what seemed like miles. Upon entering the balcony, Kate Middleton looked truly stunned at the number of people waiting. It made me think how surreal it must be, for both Kate and her family, that she's now a member of the royal family. Crazy!

They stood for a few minutes, joined by their families, including the Queen, waved to the crowd, and kissed twice. Then they went back inside.

Honestly, there is not a single bone in my body that would be interested in standing outside for hours, without access to a bathroom, to see that little display. The folks there seemed excited though and cheered wildly.

The dress, I thought, was lovely. Initially I could only see the lace sleeves and it was love at first sight. I'm such a sucker for lace and it was a must-have on my own wedding dress. Unlike Kate's lace, my lace was not hand sewn incorporating the four crests of the United Kingdom with the seamstresses required to wash their hands every thirty minutes to not soil the fabric.  When I saw the entire dress, it somehow managed to be a dress that any woman could have worn but yet at the same time be a dress completely fit for a princess.

And true to form, I thought her hair and makeup looked divine. I even rather liked the pearl crown she wore when I'm typically very anti-crown at weddings (though I suppose I must make an exception for an actual princess). EDIT: Seems I need to get my eyes checked: the crown was a diamond encrusted Cartier one, Kate's something borrowed from the Queen! It was slightly disgusting to read that the hips of her wedding dress had been padded to create that royal Victorian-esque look. Apparently I'm very Victorian...no extra padding required!

I was just a baby when Princess Diana and Prince Charles got married so this is my first exposure to the spectacle that is a royal wedding. While I really wasn't into it leading up to the day, I have to say that it was fun waiting for them to come onto the balcony and it sounds like many are predicting that they'll live a long, happy life together. I hope so!

Did anyone get up early to watch the ceremony? What did you think of her dress? I'm interested to hear opinions!

Life Changes: A Mini Vent

I couldn't find a screen shot of the actual outfit
so here's a picture that Robin's date drew in
the episode: it was a spring wrap dress
with black high boots. Use your imaginations!

I had big plans for this afternoon: I was going to come home and take a picture of my outfit, a truly inspired look reminiscent of a look I spotted on a How I Met Your Mother rerun earlier in the week. Then I was going to get on the treadmill or attempt another one of the Jillian Michael's workouts that I recently found on On Demand.

Unfortunately my workday did not cooperate with my big plans and as a result, I'm in jammies watching television.

My new job is great: I'm enjoying the work, I haven't had to drive two hours to see my new boss once, and my hours are so much more flexible that I'm able to work around doctor's appointments.

The not so great thing? That I feel utterly alienated from my former co-workers.

Two weeks ago if I wrote that last sentence, I would have written co-workers, but the last week has absolutely confirmed the fact that I no longer work with these people.

Things had been a bit different for a few weeks but I'd really thought nothing of it. Sure lunches were shorter than usual but people are busy. And they weren't stopping by my office, but my new office is further down the hall so people don't pass it as often. Last Friday my boss made a comment about how she wished I hadn't sent out letters to my clients stating that I would no longer be representing them and suddenly I realized that something was up.

What else was I supposed to do? I wasn't representing them anymore. And while it's true that we aren't going to get a new attorney for at least another two weeks, were my clients supposed to just put their emergencies on hold until someone was ready to deal with them? Heck, if it was that simple, I could have just told everyone to leave me alone until I was happily four months pregnant!

I spent the majority of my therapy session yesterday wondering if they were resenting me and treating me different. Ultimately I decided that while they may be slightly overwhelmed at the additional caseload, I was probably responsible as well. I have a tendency to push people away when I know my time with them is coming to an end: I did it as a child when we were leaving my grandmother's house, I did it with my college friends before summer vacation, and with my parents when I was leaving for law school. It's easier for me to be mad at someone than to deal with the pain of saying goodbye.

So this morning I came into the office ready to turn over a new leaf. I wasn't going to push my co-workers away anymore and intended to make a special effort to engage with them. Everyone was in court so I got to work. At one point a co-worker asked me for some computer help.

Later I heard some discussions in the hallway. It sounded like people were planning to carpool somewhere. Our office calender had listed a training this afternoon so I assumed they were all going to that. I ate my lunch at my desk and kept working.

About an hour later I was surprised to hear the voices of my former co-workers. They were back in the office, indicating that they had not gone to the training which was more than an hour away. Our administrative assistant walked down to my office (my first visitor of the day) and said, "I didn't know you were here. We all went out for Administrative Professionals' Day."

Me: Oh. Well I've been here all day. I even helped former co-worker A with his computer this morning. Happy Administrative Professionals' Day.

Even if someone asked former co-worker A if he had seen me that morning and he had said, "I saw her earlier. I'm not sure if she's there now," wouldn't you then walk the seven extra feet past his office to my door to see if I was there? Or wouldn't you just walk the seven extra feet anyway?

I was pretty upset and figured I'd give my former co-workers the opportunity to see me and...I don't know...apologize? Several times throughout the rest of the day I walked down the long hallway past their offices. They were all in there and yet no one looked up and said a single word to me.

At the end of the day I went out the back exit so I wouldn't have to walk down the long hall again. Once I got to the parking lot, I started to tear up.

I understand that things are different. For some reason it never occurred to me that they would be, but fine they are. I left my job. They have to cover my cases, in addition to their own, until someone else is hired. But cases need to be covered all the time: when one of them goes on a three week vacation or extended leave to care for a parent or transfers to another office only transfer right back after a few months. Why is this time so much more upsetting?

Ultimately it's possible that I'm overreacting. Perhaps neglecting to invite me was an honest oversight. But it still hurts. Part of the reason why I made the choice to change my position but not my location was because I wasn't to continue working with the same people. And now I'm starting to wonder if that wasn't a bad idea.

It feels good to vent and I'm hoping that tomorrow will be a brand new day. I know that switching jobs was the right thing for me because my stress level is so much lower right now just after a few weeks. If my former co-workers can't appreciate that I made the right decision for me then perhaps they weren't the friends that I thought they were.

Thanks for reading/listening! Happy Wednesday!

Killer Queen: My Pick for Queen's 40th Anniversary T-Shirt Design Contest

Way back in February I announced a contest hosted by Queen Productions, Ltd. to design a t-shirt in honor of Queen's 40th anniversary. Click here to see that post. Initially my plan was that one of my more artistically inclined readers would enter, a secret super grand prize would entail the winner taking a friend to London to rub elbows with RT and Dr. May and that friend would be me!

The odds of this super secret prize are slim to none, but I do happen to know someone who has entered the contest and I think it would be really awesome if she won. So everyone should click here to vote for Siobhan's awesome design which incorporates art work from many of the band's 15 studio albums. The design is totally over-the-top but so was Queen so it seems completely appropriate. Very cool!

And while you're on the site, check out some of the other entries. There are definitely a lot of creative people out there. I can't wait to see the winning shirt!

I Me Mine: What I Hope to Soon Wear

I found this photo on Anthropologie's website this morning and one thing was immediately clear: the Hamatreya Skirt and the Cape Tee in dark grey will be mine.

Oh yes, they will be mine.

That is all.

Take it to the Limit: What I Wore

True story: The day my job transfer became a sure thing, I said to Husband, "Hm I guess this means I should buy a suit."

Husband: ...wait, how do you not own a suit?

Me: I've owned suits over the past five years, but I just donated a big pile of clothing, including my two suits. Besides I don't wear suits to work, like ever.

That weekend off I trotted to the mall to go suit shopping. I have a huge issue buying pants because I need a ridiculously long inseam (35 inches if I'm going to even dream of wearing heels) so I knew I'd need to custom order from most stores.

I knew immediately that I wanted to hit up the Limited. A very good friend wears suits every day and is always remarking about what nice quality they are for a relatively decent price.

While at the mall I ended up wandering into Talbots first. Now I understand that Talbots is trying to change its image a bit and cater to younger professionals, but I don't think anyone told their suit designer: high stanced jackets, high-waisted pants, and beyond knee length pencil skirts. Yikes! Sure these suits are made out of genuine wool (as opposed to the Limited's polyester blends), but the price is also twice as much.

For someone who's hoping to be wearing maternity suits by the end of her four month stint in this job, spending $500 on a Talbots suit just seemed ridiculous. So I continued on to the Limited where I found a completely adorable suit for a completely reasonable price ($200 for a jacket, skirt, pants and the ridiculous $20 shipping charge because I had to special order the longer length pants).

Today I had my first opportunity to "suit up".

Plainweave Topstitch Jacket, The Limited (available here)

Lexie Plainweave Flare Pant, The Limited (on sale here)

Printed Satin-front Tank, The Limited (available here)

Sofft Fiorela Pumps, Nordstrom

Earrings, Kohls

Rings and Things Necklace, Anthropologie

So what did I do for my monumental first suit-wearing day in five years?

I woke up, got dressed, and drove two hours to a courthouse. After parking my car, I walked two blocks to the courthouse, picked up a stack of documents that had been photocopied for me, and drove home.

Seriously, that's it.

More than anything I was playing the part today. You see, I was picking up documents as the "appellate attorney". There was an off-chance that I might have seen the trial attorneys and a definite chance that I'd be meeting the clerk-magistrate. I wanted to look like an important real appellate attorney who knows what she's doing as opposed to a silly trial attorney who requested a transfer because she was crying too often at work.

I got home, exhausted and immediately took off my suit. Sadly it was much later that I noticed that the sun was totally sabotaging my outfit photos this morning! What the heck, sun? I wear a suit for like the first time ever and you decide to come out for the first time in six months to lodge a formal protest?

Not cool, sun. Not cool.

Happy Thursday!

Jolly Holiday: No Penguins Allowed

Last week, my doctor's office ordered me a fresh batch of medication for our second cycle of IVF. Our home is already filled to the brim with alcohol swabs, syringes, and Follistim cartridges, but somehow it was determined that my current supply was not enough. Because all the infertility medications are special order, it is quite a process to acquire them: you can't just pop down to your local CVS or Walgreens. You have to order them through the mail and have them shipped to you. Typically my insurance requires that I order from a pharmacy based in Florida, but because they didn't have a particular medication in stock, I received permission to order from a different pharmacy in Maine.

My package arrived the day after the order was placed. I dragged it into the house and was immediately puzzled by the enormous symbol of a penguin with a red line through it. What could this possibly mean? No penguins were harmed while shipping this medication? Do not administer this medication to penguins? An admonishment to those who force their penguins to wear tuxedos (note the bow tie)?Just a random declaration of penguin hatred?

Luckily underneath the logo were the words, "Refrigerate. Do Not Freeze."

Now, I consider myself a smart girl, but never in a billion years would a picture of a penguin with a red line through it translate to me as, "Refrigerate. Do Not Freeze." Yes, I've suffered through The March of the Penguins where each time the poor penguins endured some horrible event, Morgan Freeman would assure me that, "the worst was yet to come for the mighty penguin." Seriously, if I were a penguin, I'd probably commit penguin-icide. Life for them sounds pretty miserable. But that misery is because they are freezing, not because they have been kept from freezing.

The use of the symbol got me thinking though. Are we really that dumb as a culture that we need pictures of penguins to tell us not to freeze our medications? I've said before that perhaps there should be some sort of intelligence test before a doctor is allow to assist a couple dealing with infertility.

Although if that intelligence test involved deciphering what a penguin with a line through it means, Husband and I would surely both fail.

And if anyone thinks I'm exagerating about how many medications were contained in this penguin-free box, here's a picture of one of my three medication shelves in the house. Another is in the refrigerator (NOT the freezer) and a third is in the guest bathroom. And I'm still always worried that they accidentally forgot to send me something!

Happy Tuesday!

Something to Talk About: Infertility and the Media

The other night Husband banished me to the bedroom while he watched 60 Minutes on DVR. As I flipped through the channels, I stumbled upon the premiere of Pregnant in Heels.

This show is, in a word, ridiculous. Wealthy, connected, and pregnant New York City couples hire a woman named Rosie Pope who dubs herself a "maternity concierge". She helps them decorate nurseries, choose names, and basically anything else they need to prepare them for the birth of their child. In the first episode, a couple insisted upon hiring a group of experts, empaneling a focus group, and throwing a dinner party for friends...all to choose a name for their son, who they claimed would most certainly be on the Presidential ballot in 2056. In the end, the couple ignored everyone's advice and settled on a name that no one liked...which they totally could have done for free.

I was ready to start flipping again when a particular scene caught my attention. Rosie Pope, the maternity concierge herself, holding a Follistim pen.

A Follistim pen, like I have in my refrigerator right now!

At first I thought perhaps she was branching out and helping women who were not yet pregnant, then her husband appeared on the screen and it occurred to me that in a tremendous bout of irony the maternity concierge was battling infertility.

Lately it seems like infertility is everywhere. And I don't think that's because I'm going through it.

Many years ago, my mother's doctor suggested that she have a mammogram. Nothing was wrong, but my mom had hit an age where it was a good idea to do one. So she agreed and while she awaited the results, she traveled to the beach to visit her brother's family. While there, she called me in a panic:

Mom: There is breast cancer awareness stuff everywhere here!

Me: What do you mean?

Mom: Everyone's wearing pink...and there was a parade this morning. I think it's the universe trying to tell me something.

Or it was October, which is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Say what you will about television shows like Jon & Kate Plus Eight and other families with high order multiples, but I really do think they are at least partially responsible to bringing the subject of infertility to the forefront. People love twins, triplets, quadruplets. The more babies, the better. And beyond triplets (which occur in only the rarest of cases), these high order multiples do not happen naturally.

Soon, I was noticing that other reality shows were dealing with infertility issues. Giuliana & Bill suffered a miscarriage followed by a failed IVF cycle right around the time Husband and I did. And the Little Couple hasn't even been able to complete a cycle of IVF due to complications arising from Jen's small frame.

As silly as it sounds, but I feel a bit of a kinship with women like Giuliana and Jen: Giuliana is a successful television personality and Jen is a doctor. Both set goals for themselves in life and then achieved them...until now. Suddenly there's this huge thing that seems so easy for every other woman and yet it turns out we're woefully inadequate in that department and there's nothing we can do to change it. Seeing other women experience that out-of-control feeling doesn't necessarily make me feel any better, but at least I know I'm not alone.

Here's the thing though: it's one thing to discuss IVF when cameras happen to be following you around and documenting every detail of your life. It's another to just come out and start talking about it. Not because there are cameras. Not because anyone is going to find out anyway. But just because it's something that happens to women and to couples that isn't shameful. It's not something we need to hide in the corner and be embarrassed about.

Recently it seems many celebrities have begun discussing their experiences with infertility and IVF. Elizabeth Rohm, best known from Law and Order, found out at age 34 that she couldn't conceive naturally and underwent IVF. And Elizabeth Banks, currently appearing on 30 Rock, and her husband had a baby via gestational surrogate.

Perhaps it is just that I've become super-sensitive to matters of infertility. As I searched for the two stories linked above, I came across several sites listing dozens of well-known celebrities who have experienced infertility. I still can't help but think that many of those celebrities "came out" about their struggles in response to an accusation by the media. A celebrity has twins and the first assumption is that there must be a non-genetic reason for it. That turns the revelation into more of a, "Yes, fine, we did IVF. Are you happy?" than a open and mature dialogue about the fact that there are couples out there who simply cannot conceive naturally, but luckily science has stepped in to allow many to achieve what otherwise would be impossible.

When Husband and I were undergoing IUI, we didn't tell anyone save our immediate family. When we had our first miscarriage, we didn't even tell them until months later. That whole period was awful: I felt like I was lying to everyone about everything. Our response to IVF has been totally different: we've been completely open about it because we're not doing anything wrong. Why should Husband lie to his high school friend about why I might not be attending his wedding in June? The truth is that if I have doctor's appointments three times a week, I won't be able to travel.

Does that mean I'm not happy for him to be getting married? Of course not.

Does it mean that I wouldn't love to be there? Sure, granted the wedding is in Nebraska over my 30th birthday weekend, but Husband is definitely going and I'm never one to turn down a great party!

Being truthful is just easier and as expected, Husband's friend understood and wished us luck.

Part of the problem, I think probably the biggest problem, is that people don't know how to respond to someone who is talking about infertility. It's uncomfortable to hear and not something that can be solved with some reassuring words. But sometimes, most of the time, the person dealing with infertility isn't looking for answers.

She's just looking for support. For a friend. For someone to be there for her and distract her with shopping or lunch or a day away from her HCG count or estrogen levels.

The one thing I've learned as Husband and I have navigated the last year is what amazing friends we have. Friends who call Husband to talk because they can tell we're having a bad day. Or friends who show up with cheesecake and movies to entertain me while I'm stuck in bed rest. They don't solve our problems. They don't even try. But they are there for us more than we ever realized friends could be.

Of course there's a difference between telling close family and friends what's going on and blabbing about it to the media (or on a blog!), but in order to get infertility out there as a non-taboo subject, people have got to talk about it. And become comfortable with it.

I'm glad to see that there are finally some younger celebrities and people in the public eye addressing this issue. Hopefully someday infertility won't be thrown around as an accusation and will just be another part of life.

In the meantime, Husband and I are continuing our quest to conceive and will be beginning a second cycle of IVF tonight. Thank you to everyone out there for all your support. I may not "know" you, but reading your comments and stories also makes me realize that we're not alone and I commend any of you willing to share your story on this blog!

Happy Friday!

It's the End of the World as We Know It: What I Wore

I decided to blog this outfit for three reasons:

1) We're supposed to get another foot of snow tomorrow and I wanted to take advantage of a nice snowless deck while I've still got one.

2) Today's my last day at my current job so this outfit marks the end of an era, of sorts.

3) A co-worker stopped by my office to tell me that I looked really beautiful in this outfit and that everything went together nicely.

I decided that this compliment meant one of two things: that I really did look nice in this outfit or that I've looked so mopey and miserable lately on account of all the personal things I've been dealing with, that I managed to actually pull myself together at all warrants high praise.

Kind of like how every time one of the dogs actually does something good, I give them a treat.

Dress, B.Moss

Whipped Woolens Cardigan, Anthropologie

Hue Tights, Macys

Sofft Pumps, DSW

Necklace, Loft

Bracelet, J.Crew

On Wednesday a co-worker insisted on taking me to a "good-bye lunch". I tried telling her that my transfer is only temporary, but she would have none of it.

She better not ask for her $10 back when she comes into work on Monday morning and I'm still sitting in the same office!

Happy Friday!