Monday, December 27, 2010

2010 Year in Review: Running

As predicted when I began this blog nearly a year ago, my interests have ebbed and flowed a bit. Some months I couldn't get enough of my three favorite obsessions and other months I ignored them completely.

Such is the life of someone with an obsessive personality.

Running is the interest that essentially fell by the wayside in late 2010 for a few reasons. Firstly, this summer was unbearably hot and humid. Waking up early to run is supposed to lessen that misery, but when it's 75 degrees and 80 humidity at 6am, short at running at 3 in the morning, I'm not entirely sure how I can be expected to run! True, I do have a treadmill, but the temperatures inside weren't much cooler and frankly the thought of potentially melting in my den was not appealing either.

The second reason why I got away from running was more personal. In August, I found out I was pregnant. My doctor advised me to stop running longer distances (hence my decision to not run the Diva Half Marathon in October). I didn't stop running completely though and by the end of the month, I wasn't pregnant anymore.

Mentally, I know that I didn't do anything wrong. My doctor didn't tell me to stop running altogether: he just said to cool it a bit with the long distances, especially in the heat. But Husband and I have been seeing this doctor, a specialist, since early in the summer and if there's anything I can do, or in this case not do, that might increase the odds of our being successful, I want to do it.

The last few months have been exhausting, mostly mentally, but not surprisingly that has translated to physical exhaustion as well. Since October my body has been playing tricks on me: I feel tired as if the treatments have worked and I give in to my body's request to rest, rather than be active. Husband encourages me to take care of myself, to listen to my body, and more and more I've been allowing myself that indulgence. Then I find out that we've been unsuccessful and all my resting turned out to be just laziness and, if I'm being honest, a bit of depression.

It's been hard to convince myself that I shouldn't have done something differently and my response has been to all but eliminate running completely. Obviously this isn't the healthiest of choices for me, particularly if I'm hoping to actually sustain a pregnancy in 2011. My resolution for the new year is to slowly get back into running short distances at a slow pace because I know that ultimately, that's the best thing for me.

Likewise my running shopping was virtually nonexistent this year as well. True, I did acquire a capri running skirt which proved to be suitable attire when the heat finally broke late this fall. And a good friend gave me two navy athletic skirts leftover from an event that she coordinated at her office. Other than that, I've really been making due with the gear that I already had.

My intention in sharing this information is not to be a downer, but rather to be honest about why a formerly significant aspect of my blog has virtually disappeared. I also know that I'm not the only person to have gone through the things I've experienced this year and as much as I've not really liked talking about it, I know that I've appreciated hearing others share their stories. Perhaps my writing this will help someone going through the same thing.

Stay tuned on Wednesday and Friday for 2010 Year in Review posts on Queen and Shopping, the other two subjects about which I frequently write. I promise that both of those posts will be slightly more uplifting!

Happy Monday!

14 comments:

  1. I'm sorry to hear about all the hardship you've been through in the past few months. Thank you for sharing with us. I have been through both--pregnancy disappointment and unexplained physical depletion--and they are hard. Your husband is completely right that taking care of yourself is the way to go! I hope 2011 is an improvement for you.
    Beth

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  2. I am really sorry for what you have been through. I wish you and your husband all the best for the upcoming year.

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  3. I second Ady's sentiments; and I admire your courage for sharing about this difficult experience. Best wishes for a fantastic 2011!

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  4. Disclosure: Long time reader, first time commenter (I'm a lawyer, too)(obvi). My heart breaks for you and I'm so sorry for what you've gone through this year. My year has been almost the exact same as yours (in fact, my due date would have been December 21st). Coping with the loss and trying again is so, so isolating. Know that you're not alone and that many of us can empathize with the roller-coaster of emotions that you must experience every day.

    I never thought it would be the case, but reading blog posts like yours are still therapeutic. Thank you for that and good luck in 2011!

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  5. Thanks for sharing this journey :) Sorry for the hardships, but I know next year will be amazing for you, wonderful girl! Happy New Year!

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  6. love you sis! i know it's hard, but hang in there! :) we're all thinkin about you and hopin for the best!!

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  7. Thanks for sharing your personal story. I wish you the best of luck in getting preggers in 2011!!

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  8. I'm sorry you had to go through such a difficult time and the self-doubt surely doesn't help. I lost twins and it was very difficult to not examine everything I did in leading up to the miscarriage. Healing comes in stages and it's different for everyone. I didn't begin to feel better until the due date passed, I got pregnant again, and delivered a healthy girl. I still think of what could have been every April 18th. Hugs and good luck in the new year!

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  9. Kathleen--Thanks for sharing your story and you will get back on track in 2011.

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  10. Hang in there! I am a runner too and went through a similar experience many years ago. It is not your fault that the pregnancy ended; it is nature's way. The good news is that you did get pregnant, so it can/will happen again. Maybe some medical intervention is necessary, maybe not, but time will get you where you need to go. Take care of yourself and be active whether it's running or some other exercise so you feel good. I now have 16 and 13 year olds, so I can look back at that other time in my life with perspective and say that it will all work out. Good luck!

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  11. thanks for sharing, I always enjoy your commentary about running but so many people experience love/hate with running I just thought maybe you were in a "not so much love" phase.

    As you know, I'm a runner also and I won't lie, it messes with my cycles. I always wonder in the back of my mind what (if any) effect this will have in the future. Do what you have to for now... the running world/community will always be happy to have you back, when you are ready for it :)

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  12. love you kathleeners!! Are you working this week? Want to get together for some girly fun?

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  13. hugs kathleen. many many hugs.

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  14. Thanks for sharing our personal story. I always think it is so helpful as women to share stories as it helps us all realize we are not alone, and to learn from and support each other.

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