As predicted when I began this blog nearly a year ago, my interests have ebbed and flowed a bit. Some months I couldn't get enough of my three favorite obsessions and other months I ignored them completely.
Such is the life of someone with an obsessive personality.
Running is the interest that essentially fell by the wayside in late 2010 for a few reasons. Firstly, this summer was unbearably hot and humid. Waking up early to run is supposed to lessen that misery, but when it's 75 degrees and 80 humidity at 6am, short at running at 3 in the morning, I'm not entirely sure how I can be expected to run! True, I do have a treadmill, but the temperatures inside weren't much cooler and frankly the thought of potentially melting in my den was not appealing either.
The second reason why I got away from running was more personal. In August, I found out I was pregnant. My doctor advised me to stop running longer distances (hence my decision to not run the Diva Half Marathon in October). I didn't stop running completely though and by the end of the month, I wasn't pregnant anymore.
Mentally, I know that I didn't do anything wrong. My doctor didn't tell me to stop running altogether: he just said to cool it a bit with the long distances, especially in the heat. But Husband and I have been seeing this doctor, a specialist, since early in the summer and if there's anything I can do, or in this case not do, that might increase the odds of our being successful, I want to do it.
The last few months have been exhausting, mostly mentally, but not surprisingly that has translated to physical exhaustion as well. Since October my body has been playing tricks on me: I feel tired as if the treatments have worked and I give in to my body's request to rest, rather than be active. Husband encourages me to take care of myself, to listen to my body, and more and more I've been allowing myself that indulgence. Then I find out that we've been unsuccessful and all my resting turned out to be just laziness and, if I'm being honest, a bit of depression.
It's been hard to convince myself that I shouldn't have done something differently and my response has been to all but eliminate running completely. Obviously this isn't the healthiest of choices for me, particularly if I'm hoping to actually sustain a pregnancy in 2011. My resolution for the new year is to slowly get back into running short distances at a slow pace because I know that ultimately, that's the best thing for me.
Likewise my running shopping was virtually nonexistent this year as well. True, I did acquire a capri running skirt which proved to be suitable attire when the heat finally broke late this fall. And a good friend gave me two navy athletic skirts leftover from an event that she coordinated at her office. Other than that, I've really been making due with the gear that I already had.
My intention in sharing this information is not to be a downer, but rather to be honest about why a formerly significant aspect of my blog has virtually disappeared. I also know that I'm not the only person to have gone through the things I've experienced this year and as much as I've not really liked talking about it, I know that I've appreciated hearing others share their stories. Perhaps my writing this will help someone going through the same thing.
Stay tuned on Wednesday and Friday for 2010 Year in Review posts on Queen and Shopping, the other two subjects about which I frequently write. I promise that both of those posts will be slightly more uplifting!