On How I Decorated Toddler O's "Big Boy" Room Using Pottery Barn Kids (And Then Vowed to Never Shop There Again)

To say I loved Pottery Barn would be a tremendous understatement. I'm essentially the anti-Phoebe (from Friends) in that if given the option to live in a Pottery Barn catalog, I'd happily begin packing. I spent my college and law school years perusing their catalog and website, dreaming of the day when my house would look so impeccable. Once Husband and I moved into our house, I slowly began furnishing and decorating using primarily Pottery Barn purchases.

 

Our living room alone contains two armless chairs in a unique red/white pattern, an entertainment center designed to accommodate our Playstation video game console, a rug that I tracked down in a New Jersey store, two iron lamps with coordinating shades, and four panels of brown blackout drapes. Throughout the rest of the house are countless Wood Gallery Frames, milk glass lamps and shades, a fully stocked desk with architect lamp, and, in our bedroom, the most gorgeous (though admittedly potentially tacky and old lady-ish) drapes I've ever seen.

 

When Toddler O was born, my love of Pottery Barn extended to the Pottery Barn Kids store: changing pads and covers, more Wood Gallery Frames, a personalized "Anywhere Chair" (of course) slowly increased his collection of Pottery Barn wares. This fall I began to focus on his "big boy" (aka crib free) bedroom. He'll be moving out of the nursery to make room for Baby Girl so I wanted to start decorating before I got too miserable.

I spent hours on the Pottery Barn Kids website considering bed options (bunk beds, trundle?), playing with room layouts and reviewing sheet choices. I made purchased of sheets, shams and lamps as budget and free shipping promo allowed. I even contacted Design Services for help in selecting the perfect bedroom furniture for a boy of almost three.

So reading through all this makes it sound like I've spent a small fortune at Pottery Barn and yes, the truth is I've probably spent a lot. But I'm also clever about my spending. I buy Wood Gallery Frames on sale using the $25 off $50 promotions I receive a few times a year. Our living room drapes were virtually free thanks to the Rewards Certificate I earned after buying the living room furniture. And that rug I tracked down in New Jersey? It was marked down to under $200 from over $800.

This all brings us to my current situation. My final bedding purchase for Toddler O's room was the duvet cover. It cost $14 to ship so I had been patiently waiting for a free shipping day. With Black Friday right around the corner I knew it was only a matter of time. On November 26, I got an email for free shipping and immediately began sorting out my order: the duvet cover, of course, and, because I was so pleased, a lunch box for Toddler O to use at preschool in the new year. The lunch box was full price but I reasoned that should it go on sale I'd just call for a price adjustment. 

Little did I know that on November 24, 2014 Pottery Barn Kids ceased doing price adjustments. On anything. Ever. I get 2-3 emails a day from Pottery Barn Kids and not one mentioned this. No word of the change in their website either. So when less than two weeks later I saw the price of the lunch box drop $9+, I called Customer Service. A rude representative informed me that they no longer did price adjustments and then refused to transfer me to a manager. She claimed a manager would call me back if I left my information. That was on Tuesday. As of Saturday I've received no return call.

 

In the meantime I emailed Customer Service for clarification. I pointed out that since lunch boxes ship free I could just return and reorder to get the sale price so wouldn't it just be easier to just price adjust. Nope, they replied. It's more fun to just alienate and anger customers over a fraction of their sales totals. 

At this point I'm enraged. It's not the money; it's the principle. I've never heard of a major company not price adjusting and standing behind their customers. Perhaps I'm spoiled by retailers such as Nordstrom, LL Bean and Anthropologie and their extremely liberal return and price adjustment policies, but Pottery Barn Kids had previously been among these stores...until two days before I placed my order! The Pottery Barn Kids' Facebook page is filled with angry customers who experienced the same frustration as me, down to representatives refusing to transfer them to a manager! Clearly I'm not the only unhappy camper regarding this issue.

Still being a lawyer at heart, I wrote a lengthy letter detailing my plight to the President of Pottery Barn. Since I already had reordered the lunch box and plan on returning the $22.50 version next week, I wasn't asking for anything. I just wanted her to know that as a longtime customer I was unhappy with the policy change and would be reconsidering future purchases.

Here's where it gets ridiculous. As I said previously, the Pottery Barn Kids' Facebook page was filled with complaints similar to mine. The other roughly 50% of comments regarded the quality of items received and/or frustration over delayed or cancelled orders. Those comments were all responded to with a generic customer service message asking for additional details at an email address. The price adjustment comments? Simply ignored. As if they weren't even there. 

So being the helpful little thing that I am, I posted the address to which I had mailed my complaint and encouraged others to do the same. Within an hour, my post had disappeared! This went on a few times before finally I realized I could no longer comment on the page. I'D BEEN BLOCKED! For posting an address where customers could send feedback that might actually be acknowledged. As a test Husband came out of Facebook semi-retirement and tried posting the same information and his post vanished too. I messaged Pottery Barn's Facebook account (because I can't even message Pottery Barn Kids anymore) to ask the issue. I've yet to receive a response and don't expect to as the same trigger happy minion probably oversees both accounts. 

 

This is just outrageous to me! Change a policy of you want: it's your company. But to ban customers who are simply posting an address for feedback is ridiculous. (FYI: the address is searchable online but you have to remember that Williams Sonoma is the parent company of Pottery Barn.) I hope in the 3 or so hours that my and Husband's posts were visible some people jotted the address down and will follow through with a letter. It's the only way there's a chance to give this company feedback. Their social media representatives are clearly not interested in reading it. 

 

Direct any complaints about the Pottery Barn family of stores to the following address:

Sandra Stangl

President - Pottery Barn

Williams Sonoma, Inc.

3250 Van Ness Avenue

San Francisco CA 94109 

 

Right now just looking around my house makes me ill. To know I've spent so many thousands of dollars at a store that treats their customers with this level of disregard, particularly around the holidays, is sickening to me. Granted I understand that Pottery Barn Kids is in the market of making money - they aren't a charity - but what's the outcome here? I won't buy Toddler O's furniture at Pottery Barn Kids. Heck, if they had been willing to price adjust over the phone, I would have ordered a matching backpack on the spot. But now how many sales have they lost (both from me and from the countless other unhappy customers) because they weren't willing to budge over $9 on an order placed two days after a policy change? It's not like there aren't plenty of other stores that cater to borderline ridiculous children's décor and gifts. I'll find somewhere else to shop. My recommendation is that others do the same.

Something to Talk About: Infertility and the Media

The other night Husband banished me to the bedroom while he watched 60 Minutes on DVR. As I flipped through the channels, I stumbled upon the premiere of Pregnant in Heels.

This show is, in a word, ridiculous. Wealthy, connected, and pregnant New York City couples hire a woman named Rosie Pope who dubs herself a "maternity concierge". She helps them decorate nurseries, choose names, and basically anything else they need to prepare them for the birth of their child. In the first episode, a couple insisted upon hiring a group of experts, empaneling a focus group, and throwing a dinner party for friends...all to choose a name for their son, who they claimed would most certainly be on the Presidential ballot in 2056. In the end, the couple ignored everyone's advice and settled on a name that no one liked...which they totally could have done for free.

I was ready to start flipping again when a particular scene caught my attention. Rosie Pope, the maternity concierge herself, holding a Follistim pen.

A Follistim pen, like I have in my refrigerator right now!

At first I thought perhaps she was branching out and helping women who were not yet pregnant, then her husband appeared on the screen and it occurred to me that in a tremendous bout of irony the maternity concierge was battling infertility.

Lately it seems like infertility is everywhere. And I don't think that's because I'm going through it.

Many years ago, my mother's doctor suggested that she have a mammogram. Nothing was wrong, but my mom had hit an age where it was a good idea to do one. So she agreed and while she awaited the results, she traveled to the beach to visit her brother's family. While there, she called me in a panic:

Mom: There is breast cancer awareness stuff everywhere here!

Me: What do you mean?

Mom: Everyone's wearing pink...and there was a parade this morning. I think it's the universe trying to tell me something.

Or it was October, which is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Say what you will about television shows like Jon & Kate Plus Eight and other families with high order multiples, but I really do think they are at least partially responsible to bringing the subject of infertility to the forefront. People love twins, triplets, quadruplets. The more babies, the better. And beyond triplets (which occur in only the rarest of cases), these high order multiples do not happen naturally.

Soon, I was noticing that other reality shows were dealing with infertility issues. Giuliana & Bill suffered a miscarriage followed by a failed IVF cycle right around the time Husband and I did. And the Little Couple hasn't even been able to complete a cycle of IVF due to complications arising from Jen's small frame.

As silly as it sounds, but I feel a bit of a kinship with women like Giuliana and Jen: Giuliana is a successful television personality and Jen is a doctor. Both set goals for themselves in life and then achieved them...until now. Suddenly there's this huge thing that seems so easy for every other woman and yet it turns out we're woefully inadequate in that department and there's nothing we can do to change it. Seeing other women experience that out-of-control feeling doesn't necessarily make me feel any better, but at least I know I'm not alone.

Here's the thing though: it's one thing to discuss IVF when cameras happen to be following you around and documenting every detail of your life. It's another to just come out and start talking about it. Not because there are cameras. Not because anyone is going to find out anyway. But just because it's something that happens to women and to couples that isn't shameful. It's not something we need to hide in the corner and be embarrassed about.

Recently it seems many celebrities have begun discussing their experiences with infertility and IVF. Elizabeth Rohm, best known from Law and Order, found out at age 34 that she couldn't conceive naturally and underwent IVF. And Elizabeth Banks, currently appearing on 30 Rock, and her husband had a baby via gestational surrogate.

Perhaps it is just that I've become super-sensitive to matters of infertility. As I searched for the two stories linked above, I came across several sites listing dozens of well-known celebrities who have experienced infertility. I still can't help but think that many of those celebrities "came out" about their struggles in response to an accusation by the media. A celebrity has twins and the first assumption is that there must be a non-genetic reason for it. That turns the revelation into more of a, "Yes, fine, we did IVF. Are you happy?" than a open and mature dialogue about the fact that there are couples out there who simply cannot conceive naturally, but luckily science has stepped in to allow many to achieve what otherwise would be impossible.

When Husband and I were undergoing IUI, we didn't tell anyone save our immediate family. When we had our first miscarriage, we didn't even tell them until months later. That whole period was awful: I felt like I was lying to everyone about everything. Our response to IVF has been totally different: we've been completely open about it because we're not doing anything wrong. Why should Husband lie to his high school friend about why I might not be attending his wedding in June? The truth is that if I have doctor's appointments three times a week, I won't be able to travel.

Does that mean I'm not happy for him to be getting married? Of course not.

Does it mean that I wouldn't love to be there? Sure, granted the wedding is in Nebraska over my 30th birthday weekend, but Husband is definitely going and I'm never one to turn down a great party!

Being truthful is just easier and as expected, Husband's friend understood and wished us luck.

Part of the problem, I think probably the biggest problem, is that people don't know how to respond to someone who is talking about infertility. It's uncomfortable to hear and not something that can be solved with some reassuring words. But sometimes, most of the time, the person dealing with infertility isn't looking for answers.

She's just looking for support. For a friend. For someone to be there for her and distract her with shopping or lunch or a day away from her HCG count or estrogen levels.

The one thing I've learned as Husband and I have navigated the last year is what amazing friends we have. Friends who call Husband to talk because they can tell we're having a bad day. Or friends who show up with cheesecake and movies to entertain me while I'm stuck in bed rest. They don't solve our problems. They don't even try. But they are there for us more than we ever realized friends could be.

Of course there's a difference between telling close family and friends what's going on and blabbing about it to the media (or on a blog!), but in order to get infertility out there as a non-taboo subject, people have got to talk about it. And become comfortable with it.

I'm glad to see that there are finally some younger celebrities and people in the public eye addressing this issue. Hopefully someday infertility won't be thrown around as an accusation and will just be another part of life.

In the meantime, Husband and I are continuing our quest to conceive and will be beginning a second cycle of IVF tonight. Thank you to everyone out there for all your support. I may not "know" you, but reading your comments and stories also makes me realize that we're not alone and I commend any of you willing to share your story on this blog!

Happy Friday!

A Change is Gonna Come: A Brief Explanation of My Recent Absence

I've made a big decision that I'm really excited about and wanted to share with you all.

Effective Monday April 4, 2011, I'll be starting a new job. It's a job within my same organization and deals with the same subject matter, but the work itself is completely different.

After all the emotional and physical ups and downs of the last few weeks, I came to the realization that I simply cannot have a job where so much happens on an emergency basis. New issues are always coming up and the results is chasing a moving target. It's stressful enough as it is (as evidenced by the fact that all my co-workers have a pair of dress pants and jacket in their offices. There's always the possibility that any day, no matter how benign it may begin, could turn into a full day in the courtroom at any moment.), but add to it a personal life that's going through it's own series of issues and it becomes unbearable.

My boss is actually the one who made the suggestion about a transfer. The next day I asked her to ask our Big Boss about my options and now less than two weeks later, it's all set up!

The transfer is temporary and for four months. At the end of the four months, I can either apply for a permanent position in the same office or I can return to my current job. I like the flexibility of not being stuck somewhere, when in all honesty, I'm not even sure if this transfer is going to reduce my stress level. If it doesn't work out, I'll just come back.

The devil you know is always better than the devil you don't know, right?

So the last few days I've spent organizing my cases and preparing to turn them over to other attorneys. It's taking a while because I have a lot of cases. Hopefully I'll be finished by the end of the week and I can start fresh at a brand new position on Monday morning!

I have to say that even the knowledge that I only have 3+ days left in this position is already lifting my spirits!

Happy Tuesday!

I Want a New Drug, Part III

I promised that I'd run my next fertility post on Thursday since four days after I started Ganirelix, I injected two separate medications to trigger ovulation. According to the notches I've been scratching into my bedpost, today is Thursday (bed rest, remember?) so here we go!

The doctor gave me a specific time at which I had to give myself a trigger shot. They time it exactly so that when it's time to go in for the egg retrieval (or alternatively for IUI as this stage is the same process), the body is ready. When you consider that there are really only a few hours every month that even a regularly ovulating woman can get pregnant, it seriously isn't a wonder that the human race didn't die out hundreds of years ago!

As comic Tommy Johnagin, a finalist in last season's Last Comic Standing, points out, nobody ever goes out one night, gets drunk and accidentally builds a shed. If you want to build a shed, you have to reeeeaaaaally want to build a shed. But yet somehow it's possible to go out one night, get drunk and accidentally create another human being! Amazing!

So with IUI, I triggered myself three times with 10,000 iu of HCG. Of all the shots I've had to give myself during this entire process, I think HCG is my least favorite because it requires actually mixing the medication prior to injecting it. Maybe it's just me, but I'm a nervous enough person during this process to also be worrying about properly concocting probably the most important medication! I mean, no HCG = no ovulation = no babies.

No pressure, right?

It's also a little tricky to draw the medication out of the vial since the needle is so long, but there's so little liquid in the vial. My nurse actually told me that some women have actually injected themselves with air because they didn't realize that the liquid wasn't drawing up into the syringe.

Okay ladies, I realize that you might be nervous while mixing your HCG, but if there's still liquid in the vial, you might want to retrace your steps and try again. I mean the last time I checked, air doesn't trigger ovulation otherwise we'd all be walking around in a constant state of having ovulated. Just sayin'...

There's also a lot more liquid in this shot than I was used to from prior IUI medications so that was difficult to deal with as the medication slowly made it's way into my body. I found that injecting the HCG into my stomach was much easier than my leg so after coming to that conclusion, I struggled much less with this shot. The two times that I did inject into my leg, I ended up with a bit of pain and tenderness at the injection site which while not completely miserable was rather uncomfortable.

For my IVF cycle, I triggered myself with two medications: HCG and Lupron. My doctor decided to use smaller doses of both medications because he was so worried about my ovaries becoming hyperstimulated. Supposedly, the Lupron helps combat that concern.

Lupron wasn't terribly difficult to deal with either. It comes with box full of syringes with needles already attached. The Lupron is held in a small vial that you use to fill the syringe and you're ready to inject. Pretty simple and no side effects that I can recall.

Because the Lupron decreases my estrogen, I have to use Vivelle-Dot to replace that estrogen (since that seems to be rather important for baby-hatching purposes). These are stick-on patches that I replace every two days. They stay on really well and I haven't noticed any horrible side effects (although by the time I started using them, I was on so many other medications, who knows what medication was causing what!) I use two at a time and move them across my stomach as I replace them.

Exactly 35 hours after I gave myself triggering doses of HCG and Lupron, I went in for my retrieval, which was one of the things about which I was most scared. Luckily my doctor's office went to extreme measures to make sure I was comfortable for come back on Saturday to read all about that!